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Grin and Bear it - The Beauty of Patience

Patience is a virtue, so we've been told.

That which allows us to not give in before we get to where we're going.

But that's not the whole story. Patience is more than that.

The phrase "grin and bear it" gets closer to the heart of patience.

"Grin" - a genuine grin - is a sign of joy. 

And one part of patience is joy.

And joy is only found in one place - here and now.

Therefore, patience is the willingness to meet our existence, precisely as it is, in the here and now, with a smile. 

It's an attitude of "yes."

Patience prioritizes this attitude over our preferences. 

We may not 'like' what we find in the here and now, but that doesn't stop us from saying 'yes' to it. It is the attitude of "ok, hi, nice to meet you" whether we actually enjoy meeting you or not. 

We consciously bring this attitude into any situation that we happen upon, or that happens upon us.

And then there is the aspect of patience that we could call presence.

Our attitude of 'yes' to whatever is in front of us, is the vehicle that brings us more fully into the here and now.

Therefore, patience isn't so much a practice about the future (holding back and holding off until our preferred version of the future arrives) but a practice about the present (being on the dot, precisely where we are).

So, patience is a practice of presence.

It prioritizes where we are over where we're going, without losing sight of where we're going. 

Then, there is the 'bear' part of the phrase "grin and bear it."

And we might call this strength, or fearlessness.

It is the courage to bear whatever problems we might have. Because we have them. Plain and simple. 

This is an attitude of non-aggression.

Aggression rejects what we don't like - our various problems and so forth.

But the pronouncement of rejection doesn't change whatever is that we have rejected.

Saying, "I hate that I don't have a relationship" doesn't result in the immediate attainment of a relationship.

Patience counteracts this ultimately useless aggression by replacing it with the willingness to bear exactly what it is that needs bearing. 

It says, "right now, this is how things are. Not my cup of tea, maybe, but the cup of tea that I happen to have. I might as well sip it without complaining about it until a new flavor arises."

Finally, patience is strength. 

It ensures that we don't cop out before we get to where we're going. 

That we realize temporary inconveniences are unavoidable. 

That discomforts aren't a sign that we should stop. 

That the journey is worth it.

So, patience is the joyful engagement with life precisely as it happens to be, even if we don't like it, as we actively persist in moving towards our destination without giving up or caving in.

I'd call that quite beautiful. 


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